Monday, June 8, 2015

Today is F on the A-Z Challenge. Of Course, I Chose the the F-dash-dash-dash Word!


"Oooh fuuudge!" said Ralphie.

Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!

Mr. Parker: [stunned] *What* did you say?

Ralphie: Uh, um...

Mr. Parker: That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!


Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] It was all over - I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.


Who doesn't recognize this quote from the American comedy and holiday classic, A Christmas Story (1983)?  Now, I have been known to type the F-dash-dash-dash word frequently in my novels, particularly in my Club Decadence series because frankly, men use the word.  I have a husband and two sons, they use the word then look at me wide eyed and say, "Oops, sorry, honey"  or "Sorry, Mom."  I don't say it myself, except maybe in repeating a joke or reading a line out loud from one of my books, and find it vulgar when women lace their speech with it, in particular.  A double standard, maybe, call me a bit old-fashioned, okay, I'll accept that, but you'll see a common them of my Heroes taking their women to tasks for doing so, some more than others.

I thought to look at this multi-faceted word that has earned the universal nickname of the F-word a bit more in depth.   

According to Dictionary.com the word fuck can be traced back to 1495-1505 to the Middle Dutch fokken which means to thrust or copulate.   And was used in the Swedish dialect focka which means to copulate, strike, push, and fock which means penis.   

Usage has evolved, expanded and some would say perfected (LOL) over the centuries in many, many ways. 

1.  As a noun indicating disbelief or confusion.  Ex:  WTF!    
2.  Again as a noun to identify a unintelligent person.  Ex:  What a dumb fuck!
3.  As a verb, the most popular use in our genre.  Ex: "I'm gonna fuck you, now."
4.  Again as a verb, meaning being in dire straits or being screwed over.  Ex:  "I'm so fucked."  
5.  As an interjection (my personal fav) to express disgust or surprise.  Ex:  "Fuck!"  or  Ex:  "Fuck!  Will you look at that."
6.  Or as an adverb, to make a command more intense.  "I suggest you get your fucking ass over here before you earn more."

And that's just a few.  It can be used as an idiom, ex: "I don't give a fuck."  Or in familiar verb phrases, ex:  fuck up, fuck off, or fuck around.  Then there are countless slang terms: fuck buddy, fuckable, fuck factor, etc.

I could really go on and on, but you get my point.  <giggle>  This was fun and made me feel naughty.  

Here's an excerpt from my very first novel, Captain My Captain, to illustrate the use of the word (as if you didn't know) and my use of the double standard.  So sue me and strip me of my NOW and feminist card.  Cap is hot and that's all that matters to me.  Enjoy!

Captain My Captain
Club Decadence, Book 1


“Fuck, Megan.  Don’t you think it would have been a good idea to tell someone all of this?  Like T, Rick, or me?”  Tony’s voice rose steadily as he made that statement.

Megan was hurt and embarrassed by his tone as he made her look like a ditzy blonde in front of everyone.  

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t put it all together until just now.  The last few days have been a little stressful.  Besides, I’m not a security expert, or a Green Beret, or a cop, you know?  I make coffee and cake for a living and this shit is seriously fucked up!”  Too add to her mortification, tears pooled up and began running down her flushed cheeks.  Now she really looked like a ditzy blonde.

T came to her rescue and in a soothing voice reassured her. “It’s okay, Megan, no one expects you to be a cop.” He turned to glare at his boss and former commanding officer. 

Several of the others pulled disapproving faces and turned them on their leader, as well.  

With a heavy sigh, Tony waved Dex out of his seat and sat next to Megan, taking her hand back from T.  “I didn’t mean to snap at you, Angel.  But you have to tell me about anything unusual, okay?”

“Okay.”  She sniffled and wiped the tears with the back of her free hand.  Dex passed her a Kleenex and she gave him a small smile of thanks.

Tony’s warm hand squeezed her fingers gently.  “Now tell us all about Creepy Guy.”

“Damn straight,” Rick interjected with an angry look on his face.  

“I want to find out what that bastard was doing in my house.”
After Megan gave a description and the details about all of her encounters with him, Tony assigned Rick to review the surveillance videos from the shop to see if they could get an ID on him using their facial recognition data bank.  One of the FBI agents said if that failed, he would arrange for a sketch artist to meet with Megan later to try to get a composite drawing made up. 

Tony gave additional assignments to the team as they discussed with the FBI agents the best use of the information and handed over the flash drive to them for further analysis and fingerprinting.  About an hour later, the agents departed, leaving Megan with Tony and his team.
Amazon only cover to get Captain
out of the dungeon :(

The conversation then turned to her protection.  Decisions were made to move Megan to Tony’s house since he had the best security and because he had no intention of letting her sleep anywhere but in his bed every night from now on anyway.  This he freely shared with his team, much to her chagrin. 

Rick was put in charge of a security schedule so that they would have at least two men on her at all times.  Megan balked at this, but her protests were shot down and ignored quickly by all the men.  Sean curtly made the comment to Tony that he needed to take a firmer hand with her.  Dex agreed, even offering to let Cap borrow the paddle he conveniently kept in his desk drawer, “for just these types of situations.”

Megan almost swallowed her tongue as she looked at the room full of men, all nodding in agreement.  They apparently thought that Tony taking her over his knee for a spanking made good sense.  She was shocked and turned her gaze first to Rick, then to Tony.  Both men chuckled as they looked at her bright red face.   

Tony laid his hand against Megan’s back before explaining.  

“Allow me to introduce you to two of the toughest Doms in San Antonio, Angel.  Masters Sean and Dex are the managing partners of one of the best BDSM clubs in the southwest.”

“You’re kidding right?” she stammered.

Dex ignored her question and added, “Have you told her that all of us have shares in The Club, Cap?  You know how Sean and I feel about transparency with subs in committed relationships.”  He winked at Megan. “It eliminates a lot of misunderstandings down the road.”

Holy Shit! Her man and his friends owned a sex club? She didn’t know what to say to that and just sat there with her mouth open. She wasn’t really surprised that all of Tony’s men were Doms, but to own a club for that purpose.  Images of a dungeon with whips and chains and bondage equipment popped into her head and she forgot how to breath.  It was right out of one of her naughty books. 

Tony took a finger and placing it under her chin, gently closed her gaping mouth. 

“We’ll talk more about this later.  For now,” he turned to the group, “if everyone’s clear on their assignments, let’s find this bastard and shut down this nasty business.”

Megan dropped her head into her hands and said in a soft, shaky voice, “I’m in the fucking Twilight Zone.”



Don't stop here, there are plenty more challengers and letters to explore on the A-Z Challenge.  Have fun!